Things That Annoy Me: Emofags

I am sick

And I am tired

Of emofags constantly whingeing about how hard life is.

You know the ones.

The ones that sit there with steampunk hair and holes in their face, with ripped jeans and holes in their jumpers to put their thumbs through, the ones who always listen to whiney emo songs about how sad their life is, about death, about taking drugs to “make the pain go away”. The ones that always say “Why is this so hard? Why can’t life be easier? OMG I want to dieeeee… Gonna carve a heart where mine used to be…”

Oh fuck, now I think my brain’s melting.

It really, really, pisses me the fuck off. Because it’s never about something in life that’s actually hard, like a close relative dying, or anything really sad like that, no, it’s more often than not them crying over a relationshp that lasted a month finishing.

I know someone who used to go to my school who is exactly like this. She sees a guy, he smiles at her, she becomes obsessed with him, pesters him to go out with her, and within two days of the relationship starting, she’s going through his phone, his emails, and getting really fucked off if he’s flirted with a girl four weeks before he’d even met this emofag. Then, understandably, he gets annoyed and does what all men do, tey retreat for a while to sort out what’s going on in their mind, to figure out the best course of action and to chill out a bit.

But what does miss emofag do? Follows him. Clings. Won’t leave him alone. Pesters. Crys because he “doesn’t understand her” “Why don’t you love meeeeeeee?” Um, we’ve been dating a week…

So they break up. Then, for about a month, my facebook is filled with whiney emofag statuses about how hard life is, how she can’t go on, how she wants to forget but it’s so hard to let go and other similarly worded bollocks.

You know what?

Get the fuck over it.

Yeah, we’ve all been there where we’ve had a partner who we loved and it didn’t work out, and we were sad, but the majority of people with a brain who are not attention whores didn’t cry about it for months on end for the world to see, we had our sad few days, picked ourselves up, and tried to get on with our lives and remember that we don’t need a partner to be happy.

If you get the fuck over the fact that you rushed into a relationship, smothered this guy with affection, gave him absolutely everything and expected it in return, even though you barely know each other, then it turns out he’s not the unflawed mr. perfect you envisioned, he’s actually a normal guy who got spoiled by you and came to expect it (as all humans do when they’re spoiled) and actually can’t read your mind, so he doesn’t know you want a hug when you sit huffily in a corner, you end up fighting because you’re immature and niaeve, then you break up.

When you grow up and realise life isn’t a fairytale, and that there are no such things as knights in shining armour, and no such things as princesses of golden hearts, then maybe you’ll be able to have a normal relationship, and you’ll be happy.

The sad thing is, it’s understandable when 13 year old girls do this, they’ve not had a relationship and son;t know what to expect. But this girl, and all the others I know, and so many more out there in the world are in their late teens, early twenties, and are still behaving like kids.

Fucking emofags man.