I Don’t Get Ballet

Now, before the toffs out there get their silver spoons in a twist, hear me out. I can appreciate ballet is an artform, and it takes a hell of a lot of skill to do it. but I just don’t get it. The only thing I like about it is the music.

All it seems to be is a load of leaping about with pointy feet and spinning around, standing on your tip toes (resulting in some rather horrible feet problems) and sticking one leg out at a time, with the occasional ungainly kick thrown in. I’ve got Swan Lake on at the moment, mainly for the music, but every now and again I’ll flick to the other tab to see what’s going on. And it’s jumping, spinning and pointing. Every time. Is this all ballet is? Ooh now I’m holding a woman so she can bend a bit more than she could under her own steam. This princey guy and one of the girls have just repeated the same five moves over and over for about five minutes. I kinda prefer variety.

If I didn’t know the story of Swan Lake as it is, even watching the whole thing closely, I’d likely have no idea what’s going on. People prancing about, one looks like a prince, the other’s a jester, now there’s a guy dressed up like a flamboyant black devil. What?

People say it’s beautiful… And I guess if you like generic pretty looking women who all look like they were gotten out of a box from the same shelf at Toys R Us then cool, I can dig that. Yeah it’s graceful in places, but raising and lowering your arms together and skipping about with feet that stick out in odd directions isn’t what I’d call grace.

Spinning at various speeds, pointing and bending a lot. Impressive, but it’s something you could see at a circus. I’d rather go to a circus actually, so long as they were nice to their animals.

Spam Wank

I hadn’t even considered the idea that I would get annoying spam here; I’d never really paid that much attention to it, and just deleted it and got on with my day. But, for shits and giggles, I thought it would be a good idea to have a look at what some of them say.

And my my, was I disappointed.

It’s like spammers aren’t even TRYING any more. In the past, you could get a spam email or something that actually looked legit. Now? Full of grammatical and spelling errors, clear idiocy and the inability to speak English showing through as clearly as a skidmark on tighty-whiteys.

And some of them came from such websites as “sexline” and other similar places.

Gooby pls.

For a start, if I want porn, I know damn well where to go. For another thing, advertising prostitution (I made an educated guess about one of the spammers) was illegal the last time I looked.

Look, if you’re going to spam me, at least make it a bit more personal. I’m clearly a student with a thing for pirates and complaining about life. My blog is certainly not intended to be educational, I consider the information shared in these pages to be of a standard.

So I’m bigheadded and vain too. Your standardised messages are boring and cliche. Do it properly.

Christ, it feels like I’m talking to an ex…